The Opposite of a Love Letter

Sunday was ok. We went to mass again, but we went home early because Emma's mom called and we had to go home so we can talk to her via YM. We're glad they weren't affected by the indonesian earthquake down there.

Monday was normal. So normal, its uneventful.

Tuesday was pretty much the same. The entire day was just a repeat of Monday's events, although Emma's shift was longer so I had to pick her up from work. We stopped by for some soft icecream at a nearby mini-stop and had take out for dinner.

Wednesday was good. I had a late lunch with Emma because she went to work early. I asked her to pick the venue and she asked me to look for a certain italian restaurant. We didn't find it. We decided to eat at RCBC plaza instead.

Then came Thursday. Emma made Beef and Brocolli for dnner, although she didn't eat much. It was funny because I thought her cooking tasted ok, but she didn't feel good about it. I asked her if she is feeling ok, she said yes.

After dinner, she told me that she'll clean up and I should go to the living room. "Manuod ka na lang muna ng TV" she asked.

I went to the living room and sat at my usual corner of the couch. Without saying a word, she handed me a folded note, and left me by going straight to her room. She said she wanted to take a bath and sleep early.

This is her letter. Be noted that tbis is heavily edited. I had to translate/edit it to leave out details to protect Emma's privacy. I also removed the statements that readers may not be able to relate to.

You're a good person. You've been nothing less of a gentleman to me. Growing up, I've always looked as you as the "amo" and to some degree an older borther.

But ever since we've been apart, things have changed. I began missing you in a defferent way. I keep noticing how you've been good to me, and how I'm deeply affected by it. I see you not as a brother now, but as a friend. I'm really sorry, but I'm starting to wish that you're more than a friend.

Scandalous, I know, and I can't deny that I like whats between us right now. But if things were to continue, I might fall.

Please don't ever say those 3 words to me. You know what those words are. I don't know if I could take it. I'll only end up throwing myself at you and it scares me that I'll lose you if things don't work out well. If you are going to say those three words, its much better if you would just lie to me.

I'm scared. You know what happened to my mother right? Nanay loved my father even if he didn't love her back. I dont want the same to happen to me.

Nahihiya na ko. I don't want to lose you. I like the way things are right now and nothing more.

Nanay is coming home soon. I know that its an impossibility, but I'd like you to promise me things wont change. You'll always be my Aldrin and in turn, I'll always be your Emma even if you don't want me to. Just don't say those three words, because I wont be able to know if its true or not.

I must've read the letter about five times. I never knew she is hurting. All I thought about is I'm happy to be with her, and with the way she smiles, I've always thought that she was happy. I never thought that she was just trying to be strong and deep inside, she's fighting with her own feelings.

It's been an hour since Emma handed me the letter. I wasn't able to understand what I was watching. I waited for her to come down, but she didnt.

"Nagkulong na sa kwarto," I thought. "There's only one thing left to do."

I went upstairs, went to her room and knocked.